LAHORE: “Women in Pakistan are really, really strong. We have a voice. We just don’t have enough spaces to use that voice,” says Kanwal Ahmed, an agony aunt to some 260,000, determined to change the situation.
Her female-only online hub sees traditionally taboo topics such as sex, divorce, and domestic violence discussed freely in a conservative country where there are few avenues for women to discuss personal problems.
“I wanted it to be the kind of place where women really opened up without the fear of being attacked or harassed or judged,” Ahmed, explains of her Soul Sisters Pakistan network on Facebook.
The former make-up artist spotted the need for a safe space after spending time soothing nervous brides as they confided in her from the salon chair.
The 31-year-old says her group is somewhere women can “talk about things that they weren’t supposed to talk about in society” because they are deemed inappropriate or shameful.
In 2018, Facebook selected Ahmed as one of 115 “Community Leaders” using the social network to help others. Chosen from a pool of 6,000 applicants, she received a grant to further develop her project.
Soul Sisters Pakistan members say they can speak openly about issues — such as maternal and mental health, body image and reproductive rights — with a candour that is impossible in the real world.
One of the most discussed topics is domestic violence, which is common in the patriarchal country.
Data from the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan and the Pakistan Journal of Medical Sciences suggests 90 percent of women in Pakistan have experienced some form of domestic abuse.
Ahmed says many people do not take the problem seriously — even when wives confide in other family members about abuse.
“It is very common for them to be told that they are being too sensitive or to compromise. They aren’t given other options,” Ahmed explains, adding that women should not have to bear abuse for any reason.
According to the UN, Pakistan has a lack of access to affordable services in “sectors such as health, police, justice and social support” to ensure female safety and protection.
Soul Sisters offers informal help to users, ranging from legal advice to emotional support from other members, who call themselves Soulies.
A recent thread, #MyBodyIsNotASecret, underlines the changing norms of a generation that has seen the global impact of the #MeToo movement, progress in body positivity, and a backlash against traditional beauty standards and colorism.
“There is a lot of shame associated with a woman’s body, with the general bodily functions even. They are not talked about,” Ahmed says.
One member shared her struggle with the medical condition vaginismus, which helped others identify their own symptoms.
Ahmed says she lost a family friend to breast cancer after the disease went undiagnosed and untreated for too long because she was “too ashamed to talk about her body with anyone.”
“This isn’t a new story. This is something that happens to a lot of women,” Ahmed insists.
The group provides a welcome respite for its members, who frequently face online abuse when they post publicly, and encourages women to share success stories as well as problems.
But the diverse narratives have also brought a range of criticism.
Ahmed has been accused of promoting divorce and “wild” behavior, even as more progressive voices have slammed the group for allowing conservative views to be shared.
Her work is challenged from “almost every angle,” Ahmed says, pointing to an element of internalized misogyny among some members.
But she says her aim is not to “serve a small niche,” rather to shatter stereotypes and break norms.
“If people were already well aware, we wouldn’t need spaces like this. It’s exhausting, frustrating and takes every drop of my strength to keep continuing.
“But every time someone changes their mind or we get success stories — instant gratification!” she tweeted recently.
Ahmed and her team try to handle conflicts sensitively — allowing a wide range of views to foster dialogue and debate — an approach that has seen membership swell.
We “just try to tell the women to be who they are, to not be ashamed of being themselves, to speak their minds,” she says.
Splinter groups have struggled to achieve a fraction of Soul Sisters Pakistan’s success or reach — she says there are three to six million conversations on the site each month.
Ahmed used her Facebook grant to launch an online talk show in a bid to win a wider audience — with each episode getting hundreds of thousands of viewers.
The coronavirus pandemic has halted production and Ahmed recently moved to Canada so the program is on hiatus.
But she is committed to challenging a society “scared of women with a voice.”
She adds: “The lack of acknowledgement about issues women face in society is horrific.”
Pakistan’s online agony aunt tearing down taboos
https://arab.news/v352v
Pakistan’s online agony aunt tearing down taboos
- Soul Sisters Pakistan members say they can speak about issues with a candour that is impossible in the real world
- The group provides a welcome respite for its members, who frequently face online abuse when they post publicly
Writers demand boycott of Israel until Gaza receives sufficient aid
- More than 200 prominent writers in the UK demand release of hostages ‘on both sides,’ an end to settler violence in West Bank
- Signatories include Zadie Smith, Michael Rosen, Hanif Kureishi and Elif Shafak
LONDON: A group of more than 200 writers in the UK have signed an open letter calling for a boycott of Israel.
The letter, which demands ties be severed with Israel until sufficient aid supplies are delivered to Gaza, comes after the Integrated Food Security Phase Classification warned that famine was gripping the Palestinian enclave.
Israel imposed a blockade in Gaza in March following the collapse of a ceasefire between the Israeli government and Hamas. Shipments of aid restarted in May, but 197 people have now died in Gaza of hunger-related conditions since the outbreak of hostilities on Oct. 7, 2023.
Signatories include Zadie Smith, Michael Rosen, Irvine Welsh, Hanif Kureishi, Brian Eno, Elif Shafak, George Monbiot and Geoff Dyer, among others.
In the letter, the writers “call on all people, institutions, governments and states to observe an immediate and complete boycott of all forms of trade, exchange and business with the state of Israel until the people of Gaza are adequately provided with drinking water, food and medical supplies, and until all other forms of relief and necessity are restored to the people of Gaza under the aegis of the United Nations.”
The letter was co-organized by Horatio Clare, who was also behind another letter in March signed by writers accusing Israel of committing genocide in Gaza.
In the new letter, the signatories said: “We make this call because the words and feelings of millions of people and thousands of politicians worldwide have failed to bring about the feeding of the people of Gaza, the protection of civilians or their supply with humanitarian and medical aid.
“We regret that this boycott affects a great many individuals and groups in Israel and other countries who share our rejection of the policies of the government of Benjamin Netanyahu; individuals and groups whose pain and compassion for the people of Gaza we share.”
The signatories said that the boycott should stay in place until the civilian population of Gaza is judged to be “safe and in receipt of adequate food and aid” by the UN.
They called for the “return of all hostages and those imprisoned without charge or trial on all sides,” an “end to settler violence against Palestinians on the West Bank” and “the immediate and permanent ceasefire and cessation of violence by Hamas and Israel.
“We stand in solidarity with the resistance of Palestinian, Jewish and Israeli people to the genocidal policies of the current Israeli government,” the writers added.
“We note that prominent and respected Israeli and Jewish groups in Israel and other countries, including many of our fellow writers, have recently called for serious and impactful sanctions on Israeli institutions, to which we add, on, and only on, objectively culpable individuals. A boycott is the only sanction an individual can apply.
“In calling for and observing this boycott, we assert without reservation our absolute opposition to and loathing of antisemitism, of anti-Jewish and anti-Israeli prejudice.
“We reject and abhor attacks, hate and violence — in writing, speech and action — against Palestinian, Israeli, and Jewish people in all and any form.”
Recommended reading to see out the summer
- Arab News writers select some of their favorite books
Arab News writers select some of their favorite books to add to your summer reading list.
‘Cannery Row’
John Steinbeck
Critics haven’t always been kind to Steinbeck’s short 1945 novel. “Sentimental” and “trivial” are two accusations sometimes thrown at it. The first it may be. The second it definitely isn’t; the seeming simplicity of the language and the book’s nostalgia and humor shouldn’t obscure its depths. The book, Steinbeck said, was written in response to a request from soldiers to “write something funny that isn’t about the war.” The setting he chose was the titular street in Monterey, California during the Great Depression, home to a host of sardine canneries (hence the name), a group of homeless men led by Mack, a few storekeepers, a bordello, and Doc, a marine biologist whose kind-heartedness has made him beloved by the locals. To show their appreciation, Mack and his boys decide to throw Doc a party. It gets wildly out of control, and much of Doc’s home — and his lab — is ruined. So Mac and the boys throw him another party to cheer him up. The book is written with such brilliant economy. The characters are so vividly realized, so specific and singular, yet instantly recognizable — and Steinbeck’s love and respect for them shines through on every page. You’ll come to love them too.
Adam Grundey
‘The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83 1/4 Years Old’
Peter de Smet
This might sound mundane — even more so when you learn that it’s the diary of a man living in a care home in the Netherlands — and it is. But beautifully so.
Dutch writer Peter de Smet created this light, funny and deeply emotive book (published as Hendrik Groen) about a perfectly ordinary man living in a retirement home. We join Groen on Jan. 1, 2013, as he professes: “Another year, and I still don’t like old people.” He is bored, so decides to write a secret expose, revealing the antics of day-to-day life in his retirement home where he and his friends refuse to take their lives — or those of the other “inmates” — too seriously. Instead they create the “Old-But-Not-Dead Club” and stir up trouble.
This is an easy, and thoroughly lovely, read. By the end you will crave more time with Hendrik and his friends. Luckily, there is a second diary.
Peter Harrison
‘The Let Them Theory’
Mel Robbins
This has become a personal guide to peace of mind for me. It taught me to stop worrying about how others act or react, and to detach from the kinds of frustrating behaviors that used to ruin my day.
One of the reasons I love this book is because it helped me become more patient, especially with the people closest to me. It introduced me to the idea of surrender, to observing instead of controlling, and to simply let things unfold. Not every action deserves a reaction. Sometimes, no reaction is the best reaction. Robbins challenges you to embrace a new — healthier — mindset, one that saves your energy for what really matters and encourages you to lower your expectations. Or, better yet, let go of expectations altogether.
If you’re someone who gets triggered easily or feels the need to control how others behave, the philosophy in this book offers a refreshing shift: Detach from attachment; let others be who they are; and release the urge to change or correct them. Just let them!
Nada Hameed
‘The Way of Kings’
Brandon Sanderson
Come for the epic worldbuilding, stay for the crushing character studies. Brandon Sanderson’s first book in his planned 10-book “Stormlight Archive” (five are now out), is epic fantasy at its finest. While Sanderson more than proved his worldbuilding skills in his beloved “Mistborn” series, he kicks it up a notch here with the fascinating world of Roshar, introducing us to ancient oaths, magical highstorms and dueling kingdoms. But beyond its breathtaking scope lies the true magic of the series: its characters. Sanderson goes far beyond the trope-y caricatures that litter fantasy fiction and digs deep to create well-rounded, relatable characters, whether that’s Kaladin’s struggle with depression, Shallan’s deeply fractured identity, or Dalinar’s journey from bloodthirsty warlord to peacemaker. And then there’s the magic system. While I won’t spoil the details, Sanderson’s approach to Surgebinding is like nothing else in the genre. So, if you’re looking to go on an epic and inspiring journey with characters who fight hard to persevere against all odds, try “The Way of Kings.”
Shyama Krishna Kumar
‘Five Quarters of the Orange’
Joanne Harris
A beautifully written, multi-layered novel by Joanne Harris (of “Chocolat” fame) “Five Quarters of the Orange” blends the concepts of memory, mystery and the complexities of family relationships.
Set during and after the Nazi occupation of France, it follows Framboise, a reclusive woman who returns to her childhood village where her family was once disgraced. As she restores her late mother’s farmhouse and opens a small restaurant, Framboise begins to piece together the secrets of the past, guided in part by her mother’s cryptic recipe book. The story delicately explores the bonds and tensions that often exist between mothers and daughters, the legacy of guilt and the fragility of memory to weave an evocative, atmospheric and quietly powerful tale. Harris writes with sensuality and depth, especially in the way she uses food as both a narrative device and emotional touchstone.
If you enjoy literary fiction with heart, flavor and just a hint of darkness, then this is for you.
Rebecca Parsley
‘Butter’
Asako Yuzuki
It is difficult to fit “Butter” neatly into a genre — and that’s what makes this Japanese bestseller by Asako Yuzuki so quietly compelling. Inspired by an actual serial-killer case in Japan, the novel follows a Tokyo-based journalist who starts interviewing a woman accused of killing men by seducing them with her cooking. So far, so murder-mystery, right? Wrong. “Butter” offers the reader the opportunity to sink their teeth into extraordinarily delicious food writing, with Yuzuki describing tastes and textures that will leave you craving dishes you’ve never tried. Adding weight to the story is an insightful, sometimes uncomfortable, exploration of sexism, self-image and relationships in Japanese culture — the real reason this book will stay on your mind long after the last chapter. It’s a refreshing read for women from any cultural background, and I’m willing to bet my last bite readers will connect with its themes of fatphobia, seeking pleasure in food, and the many, many contradictions of what is expected of women the world over.
Saffiya Ansari
‘Demian’
Herman Hesse
“I realize today that nothing in the world is more distasteful to a man than to take the path that leads to himself,” Hesse writes in “Demian.” In our world of endless self-help books, where a self-proclaimed expert is always available to lecture us on the best path forward, this brilliantly written 106-year-old novel of self-discovery remains a subtle yet powerful reminder that the greatest guide one has is oneself. It follows outcast teenage protagonist, Emil Sinclair (the name the book was first published under), as he attempts to understand his place in the world, often seeking guidance from his friend Max Demian — a charismatic and self-assured figure quite unlike Emil. Throughout the book, Emil is confronted with the duality of his own personality — torn between his lighter wholesome side and a darker, rebellious, transgressive one. Exploring mysticism, psychology and philosophy, Hesse takes his readers on a thought-provoking ride as Emil is forced to face the difficult conversations necessary to reach self-discovery. “Demian” was written at a time of great social and technological advancement and, despite being more than a century old, it remains as relevant today as ever.
Khaled Al Khawaldeh
‘The Leftovers’
Tom Perrotta
Imagine 18 percent of the global population suddenly vanishes into thin air. Where did they go? And, more importantly, why did they go? This is exactly what Earth’s leftovers (get it?) continue to ponder years later. Perotta takes readers into the lives of residents of Mapleton, a slice of suburban Americana where everyone has been affected by the “sudden departure,” but none more than Nora, who has lost her husband and both children. Inversely, Kevin — the mayor — and his family survived intact. Sort of. His wife Laurie has joined the Guilty Remnant, a cult borne out of the rapture-like event who repent the sin of surviving by chain-smoking cigarettes and not speaking; his son Tom has dropped out of university because he doesn’t see the point anymore and joined self-proclaimed prophet and healer Wayne’s caravan; while his daughter Jill has stuck around.
Perotta gives an intimate view of his main characters through their own eyes within each chapter. And you find yourself wondering what you would do in their position. Join a cult? Carry on as normal? Go travel the world? “The Leftovers” leaves you wanting more, but in the best way possible.
Tarek Ali Ahmed
‘Saturday Night and Sunday Morning’
Alan Sillitoe
Before The Beatles, there was Arthur Seaton, the true working-class hero of Alan Sillitoe’s groundbreaking 1958 novel “Saturday Night and Sunday Morning.” Seaton was the spokesman for the British proletariat long before John, Paul, George and Ringo — even if the extent of his philosophy was merely to “have a good time” (the rest being “propaganda”).
The book, set in Sillitoe’s home city of Nottingham, provided the working class with both a voice and a hero in a world seemingly devoid of the spoils of victory after World War II — albeit a hero who drank himself to incoherence and womanized himself to a severe beating. Alongside “Room at the Top” and “This Sporting Life” — other “angry young men” novels of the era — “Saturday Night and Sunday Morning” showed that youngsters were getting their kicks long before the UK began to ‘swing’ — or could afford to — in the Sixties. Pacy and compelling, this is as much a social-history lesson as the rite of passage it proved on publication.
Nick Wood
My Birmingham: Saudi researcher Hanadi AlGarni gives us the lowdown on life in the UK’s second-largest city
DUBAI: Hanadi AlGarni is a 27-year-old researcher and innovator in biotechnology. She lived in Birmingham, England, for 18 months while she completed her MSc degree in Molecular Biotechnology at the city’s School of Biosciences.
What’s the best thing about Birmingham?
It’s a big city — the second-biggest in the UK — but it feels cozy. And the city center is small, which gives you the chance to familiarize yourself with places.
What’s the worst thing about Birmingham?
The roads. They’re a mess. It's a random city.
How would you describe the general vibe of Birmingham?
As I said, it's a big city, but it's not hectic like London. There’s a lot of culture. You see a lot of different people living there, and you can easily find stores and shops from different cultures.
Is the city expensive?
The UK in general is a bit expensive, but it really depends on your lifestyle. It's not that expensive compared to London. You can enjoy life there within a budget.
Would you say it’s a good place to travel to with kids?
It is safe for kids. Birmingham is very family-friendly, but I think it's better suited for teenagers because there are a lot of activities and night life.
How easy is it to get around?
One of the best things about Birmingham is the public transport — they have a great network. You can get everywhere using the tram or the bus. I used to use the train from my place to the university. You don’t need to hire a car in the UK; you can easily find public transport.
What’s the best time of year to visit?
Actually, I had the best time when the Christmas Market was there in December. It’s a German-style Christmas market, so it was something different and there were lots of activities and lots of people. It was really enjoyable.
Would you describe the city as ethnically diverse?
Yes, it’s one of the most ethnically diverse cities in the UK. More than 40 percent of the population comes from minority ethnic backgrounds. You can find Asians, Africans, Arabs… a lot of different ethnicities.
Is it convenient for Muslims?
Yes. There are a lot of mosques, even in the city center. And you’ll find a lot of halal and Arab-speaking shops, restaurants and cafés everywhere. So, yeah, that’s what’s special about Birmingham — there are a lot of Muslims there and a lot of Arab students.
What would you do on your ideal weekend in Birmingham?
Every weekend there’s something to do. Also, because Birmingham is central, you can easily go to Manchester or London, or any other city in England.
Which famous tourist attraction would you recommend people visit?
The Library of Birmingham, for sure. It has a unique design. It has, like, a green area on the top floor and you can see the whole city from there.
Where else would you recommend?
There’s a bakery I found randomly called Levain and Cherry. It’s quite a long way from the city center (it’s in King’s Heath), but you get the best croissant you’ll ever eat in the UK there. I highly recommend it. The second place is Warwick Castle — definitely not to be missed. It’s about 15 minutes away by train. Also, the West Midlands Safari Park is amazing; it feels like you’re in Africa. You can also stay at the lodge there, but it's a bit expensive.
What’s the best hotel in Birmingham?
I think it’s The Hyatt Regency. Even the location is amazing — it’s nearby everything.
Which neighborhoods would you recommend people look for accommodation in?
I’d totally recommend the city center, the Jewellery Quarter and Brindley Place.
Where did you go when you were feeling homesick or nostalgic for Saudi Arabia?
I never felt homesick. There were a lot of Arabs and Saudi people around me. But if I had, then there’s a road called Coventry Road, where, during Ramadan, they had all the Ramadan atmosphere. All the halal shops are there. And they even sell abayas. It really feels like you’re in an Arab country. Even if you’re looking for really specific products made in Saudi, or made in Palestine, say, you can find them.
Zallal workshops in Diriyah celebrate calligraphy art
- Running through Aug. 30, the event offers interactive and creative experiences for visitors of all ages
- Arabic calligraphy workshops have become a popular attraction, offering visitors a unique opportunity to have their names written in a variety of traditional styles
RIYADH: Arabic calligraphy is among the highlights of the Summer of Zallal events, held every Thursday and Friday in the Al-Bujairi District of the Diriyah governorate.
Running through Aug. 30, the event offers interactive and creative experiences for visitors of all ages, according to a Saudi Press Agency report.
The Arabic calligraphy workshops have become a popular attraction, offering visitors a unique opportunity to have their names written in a variety of traditional styles.
Saudi calligrapher Ayman Al-Khadhra said that he inscribed visitors’ names using various artistic styles of Arabic calligraphy, including Thuluth, Jeli Thuluth, and Diwani, as well as historic scripts such as Kufic.
He noted that the enthusiastic engagement from attendees reflects a growing interest in preserving traditional arts, the SPA reported.
The Zallal project stands as one of Diriyah’s most prominent modern developments, covering a total area of more than 53,000 square meters. It features seven contemporary buildings housing upscale restaurants, cafes, and dedicated venues for cultural events and live performances.
Kim Kardashian’s Skims to launch first store in the UAE
DUBAI: Reality star-turned-entrepreneur Kim Kardashian’s shapewear and loungewear brand Skims is set to make its brick-and-mortar debut in the UAE, with its first physical store opening at Mall of the Emirates in Dubai.
The launch date has not yet been announced.
Founded in 2019, Skims quickly rose to prominence for its inclusive approach to shapewear, offering a wide range of skin tones and sizes. The brand has since expanded into loungewear, activewear and swimwear.
The brand’s success has been bolstered by a roster of celebrity supporters, including Kendall Jenner, Hailey Bieber, SZA, Sabrina Carpenter and even the brand’s co-founder Kardashian herself, who regularly appears in the campaigns.
Skims has also released high-profile collaborations, including a Barbie-themed collection and limited-edition capsule lines with fashion houses Fendi and Dolce & Gabbana.
The brand was available in the region exclusively through Ounass, the UAE-based luxury e-commerce platform operated by the Al Tayer Group. Known for bringing high-end international labels like Harvey Nichols, Bloomingdale’s, Prada, and more to the Gulf, Al Tayer was also responsible for introducing Skims to the Middle East in December 2020.
Kardashian recently unveiled a new product under Skims — the Seamless Sculpt Face Wrap — a shapewear-style mask for the face that has stirred debate online.
Retailing for $48 and “infused with collagen yarns,” the product sold out within 24 hours, driven by customers hoping to achieve a more sculpted jawline, as advertised.
While some have praised the product as a non-invasive and innovative approach to contouring, others have criticized Skims for promoting unrealistic beauty standards and contributing to body image insecurities.
One user on X wrote: “Can’t believe people are actually buying this Skims face snatching wrap,” while another commented: “Not sure how this would change your jaw or face shape at all … Recessive chin or jaw is real and can be fixed, but not with a wrap.”
Still, some users expressed enthusiasm about the release. “I don’t particularly like Kim K and I’ve never bought anything from Skims but low-key kind of want the face wrap..it looks like it would cure my tmj (Temporomandibular disorder),” one comment read.
